America's Content Farmers

(Music swells)
(Fade in “USDI Approved” logo)
(Shots of sunrise with topic silos in the background)
(Music fades)
(Cue announcer)

It’s dawn on the content farm, and the violent hues of night give way to the blood-read clouds of mourning.

From the barnes, you can hear the noble crowing of a booster and the clucking of the dickens. In the background there’s the sweet googling of journos, braying for their beats, while the bores grunt in their pens.

(Begin montage of Jones family at work)

Farmer Jones has a full schedule today. There are backups to install and upgrades to initiate, and then there’s the spam filters to change, and then she has to spray the apps for stray worms or tweets that might ruin the crop.

She wonders if any of the DSL lines have gone down in the firestorm of controversy last night — If so, some feral critics might have gotten into the cornball fields.

Her husband, already working on a ton of washing, has his own posts to time, and there’s the new herd of yorkies to feed as well. They’re already huffington down in the lower field.

The children have work, too. It’s molting season for the olberman, and they gently curry its thick hide as it munches through 30 million greenbacks. If they let it out of its stall, they have to watch for stray palins that might beck at the olberman.

But with the strength of amazons, and the help of USDI – approved methods they learned in their bandwidth-grant Jcollege, this amazing content farm family keeps the nation’s information diet rich and nutritious.

(Heroic music swells)

And that’s the way information wars are won — With the hard hacking and clever coding of the nation’s content farmers — Truly a read apart.

(Fade to logo: Copyright US Dept. of Information, 2020).

(Fade music)

(Fade screen to black)

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More reading: 

Tom Gerace,  The Right Way To Invest In Demand-Driven Content Is To Invest In Skilled Writers, Business Insider, Jan. 21, 2011.

Wikipedia article on content farms